We have had to deal with pressure and expectations throughout our lives. And I know for me, that's something that I've had to do. I've always laid a lot of pressure and expectations on myself. And let me tell you, nobody wants to review those "years that shall not be named." But let me tell you the long hours that ended up having to be worked as we were trying to keep connected with people and figure out new ways of doing ministry and debug our online ministry that suddenly we had to engage with and recording entire services and editing them and just all the different things that were going on and frustrations as--can I be frank here today?--as we saw adult believers acting like they were third graders. And whatever side of the whole thing you were on, let me just tell you, there were a lot of people showing a lot of pressure and frustration and anti-establishment attitudes that were coming forth in an immature way.
And I had moments like that, too, but it was a lot. What ended up happening was that I found out that you can only work 60, 65, or 70 hours a week for so long and deal with so many frustrations before your body says, "Are you done?" And so I ended up starting to have signs of burnout, and I also started to get anxious. I've always had moments in my life, periods in time, and Embree can tell you that, where I've gone into a melancholy slump for a week and then come out, but all of a sudden, I'd have melancholy slumps for longer than a week. Then we'd be driving, and suddenly, my stomach would be tied up in knots for no reason. The thought of calling someone and setting up an appointment would send me to the kitchen floor. And I was tempted to think, "I guess I need to spend more time with God. I need to spend longer in my devotional life. I need to pray more." And in fact, I would say that that's probably generally in the church's history been the reaction that we've had when someone's like, oh man, I'm dealing with anxiety. I'm dealing with depression or burnout. They'd just be like, you're obviously not spending enough time with Jesus.
It used to be even just 30 years ago when a pastor who was dealing with some mental health issue would be unwilling to find any treatment, at the very least in their community, and would be reluctant to speak on it or anything because if they did, their congregation would determine that they weren't following Jesus if they were struggling with this. That's not to say that Western society's reaction to mental health has been much better. Until recently, people dealing with mental health have had these reactions where they share, “I'm dealing with such and such,” and the other guys would give the guy that was dealing with that stuff a punch on the shoulder and be like, “Just man up. Pull through. Get through it!! I can't speak to the female reactions to these different things, but I assume it was "I got to put on a happy face” for many. I got to keep on carrying on."
The issue is that we have mental health problems at an increasing rate in our society, and all kinds of root causes could be pointed to for the rise in mental health issues throughout the Western world; as we deal with these things, the stigma has shifted to some extent. Some people have begun to wear these things as a badge of honour, which I don't know is the right way to go, but then there are others pushing back against that attitude, and we're almost seeing a resurgence of, "Oh, you have problems? Sure you do." Chances are some of you are under financial pressure. You're feeling society's pressure to perform or produce, "Oh, you only worked eight hours today? No, why don't you stay an extra four? I mean, you couldn't possibly have anything more worthwhile than producing for this company." There's pressure coming from social media. It's funny that our escape—social media—is a carefully curated list of people's best moments that we are looking at over and over and over and over and over again. Suddenly, we start to get this idea: wow, everyone goes on better vacations all the time than I do. It's been two years since I even went camping. Or we're like, man, everybody wears nicer clothes than I do. Or Everyone's marriage is happier than mine is. And all of a sudden, we have this pressure. I've got to live up to the things I see on my social feed.
There's pressure on our kids and ourselves that our kids must be in lots and lots of activities. I spoke with one person a few years ago, and they talked about how stressed out they were because their kids were in so many activities and they couldn't figure out what to cut. And they're listing off these activities, and they're like, "They've got this team sport, and they've got this individual sport, and they're in swimming lessons every single week of the year, and they're in piano lessons, and then they've got school and all these things." And I was like, "Here's an idea: Why don't you just let them be in one at a time?" And the response was, "Well, no. These are mandatory life skills. They can't possibly skip out on one of these."
"I'm stressed out. My kids have all these things that no one else in our nation's history had a hundred years ago, but I have to have this, or they won't succeed. Or they'll look back and think that I failed them somehow because they didn't have all these opportunities all the time." Meanwhile, Mom and Dad are run ragged, and they're feeling exhausted, and they have no chance to rest. And the kids as well, let me tell you, a lot of these kids, if you talk to them, they'd say: "I just want a day off. I want to stay home. I want to hang out with my friends." Some of you can relate. You're under pressure. A lot of us put on an outward show.
I see this all the time at church. We're awful for this. You walk in in the morning, and you just got cut off by someone and flipped them the bird. You were screaming at your kids in the backseat there. They barely got underwear on before they headed out the door kind of thing. And you guys are just like, "When we get home today, you're in so much trouble. We're going to go out behind the woodshed." Maybe you're fighting with your spouse too, like, “I think this is it. We might be done.” And then you pull into the church, and you're like, okay, everybody, let's walk in. You walk in the door, shake the greeter’s hand, and they're like, "How are you?" "I'm So blessed. I'm So good. Praise God!"
You've been there, you've put on the mask, you've put on the show, but inside, how are you feeling? You're depressed, you're anxious, you're stressed, you're worn down. But I want to tell you if you're under pressure, you're not alone. This room is full of people who are under pressure. This society is full of people under pressure, but I know that what we want, what you and I want more than anything else right now, we want peace of mind. Wouldn't that be amazing? Everything's fallen in on you, and it's just like, “God, give me some peace!”
So, as we start this new series called Under Pressure, we will look at what we need to do to find peace. But it's essential to start a message series like this by addressing some common misunderstandings that people often have--that Christians often have--that can block the path to peace and healing. There are things that we have attitudes and understandings that can prevent us from the peace that God promises us.
Now, there was this guy named the Apostle Paul, and in case you're wondering, "Apostle" wasn't his first name; that was his title. It was like saying "pastor," "missionary," "bishop," or "father.” It was a title. Paul was this amazing early church missionary who had a radical life change from God and was very familiar with suffering.
He writes to a church in the city of Thessalonica, which we find this letter in the Bible in 1 Thessalonians. I want to direct your attention today to 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, where he writes: "Now, may the God of peace make you holy in every way and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen. For he who calls you is faithful."
We serve the God of peace. Why don't we feel peace?
I want to tell you today that God has a lot to say and a lot of promises about quelling the storm inside of us. But there are two ways that people tend to associate church and the topic of mental health,
The first one is that we say the church has no business in the area of mental health. We say this is not the church's field. Maybe we even look back in history, and we believe the church has been detrimental to many people being willing to come forward and get help in the area of mental health. The church has no business speaking about it. Conversely, some people say, "Yes, the God of peace. Jesus, who died on the cross, and by his stripes, you are healed! Amen? He's going to fix it all! He's going to make it all easy! You get saved by Jesus. You get filled by Jesus, healed by Jesus, and all you need is faith!" We've heard those people before, too. And let me tell you: Jesus does save, and Jesus does fill you with his Holy Spirit, and Jesus does bring healing, both spiritual and often physical. But this idea is not complete.
See, Jesus saves but doesn't immediately fix every area of our lives. Because, after all, if this idea that if you come to Jesus, he saves you and fixes everything immediately were true, then I would be changing my sales pitch. I'd be saying, "People, are you overweight? Are you a scrawny lightweight? Do you have wrinkles so long that your jowls are touching your shoulders? Men, do you have more back hair than head hair? Is your bank account empty? Just come to Jesus, and for the low price of giving everything to him, you'll wake up three sizes smaller with bigger muscles, no more wrinkles, and all your hair grown back. Plus, he'll fill up your bank account!" But that's not what it is. That's not what happens. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you'll be mentally healthy. And so I hope if you have ever been in this place or a church out there, and you thought to yourself, "I must be failing as a follower of Jesus because I'm struggling with depression or I'm struggling with anxiety, or I'm struggling with these pressures." I want you to know that you can be a follower of Jesus and not be completely mentally healthy.
So, I want us to deal with two myths about mental health before we deal with specific areas of mental health in the coming weeks.
Myth 1: Good Christians don’t have mental health problems
The first myth we must address is that good Christians don't have mental health problems. Have you heard that one before? Have you thought about that one before? Let me tell you, you can love Jesus. You can. Oh man, you can be giving it all to him. You can think, "Jesus, you are my everything," and still fight with depression. But here's the thing: you're not alone anymore. When you come to Jesus, you're not alone. You can be such a faithful Christian. You can read your Bible for six hours a day and pray for six hours a day. Everyone can be looking at you and thinking, "You are amazing. You are holy." And let me tell you, you can still be struggling with anxiety. But the great thing is that you suddenly know you have a faithful confidant and teacher.
You can be someone who attends church faithfully; You can say, "I am not missing a single Sunday of church, and I'm going to give and serve," and still deal with trauma. The difference is that you have people who love you and will pray for and encourage you.
I don't know how we got this idea that there shouldn't be any struggles with mental health. Because if you read your Bible, you start to see some stuff. For example, Elijah, that amazing prophet who started a burnt offering with no fire--Fire literally came down from heaven!--pretty much immediately after that, Elijah ran off so depressed about life that he said he wanted to die. He was so in tune with God that he heard him, he spoke for him, and God acted on Elijah's behalf. And then he decides that life sucks and it would be better if he were dead.
How about David? This guy slung a single stone and took out a huge giant. This guy that became king of Israel. Did you know that David often despaired about his situation and often practically cursed his life? I mean, read some Psalms. He had so many struggles at various moments.
There's a guy named Jeremiah. He has his entire own book of the Bible, and because of it, we call him the weeping prophet. And in his book, he says, "Cursed is the day that I was born." But God responds, "No, I'm going to use you. I'm going to speak through you. In fact, not only am I going to speak through you for now, but these words will be immortalized for generations to read about your struggles, Israel's struggles and my desire for people to live for me."
However, what's our historical solution? How do we respond to the biblical evidence? By saying, "Oh, you have mental health issues? You need more Jesus." And that's true. I need more of Jesus! Do you need more of Jesus? Don't you want to experience him more?
But can I also tell you, you probably need more sleep. You probably need a healthier social life. You may need a better diet, see a doctor or counsellor, or get hormone treatments.
So yeah, I need more of Jesus. But I also got some pills I take every single morning to keep me from spiralling because my brain produces hormones wrong. And while I would love for God to heal me--and I believe he can-- I am not sitting here thinking, "I just need to read my Bible more, and I will never be sad." No, because let me tell you, God created this world. He created the ability for us to put different chemicals and different items together and experiment and come up with things that can help us. So I'm good taking God's graceful provision of us being able to use the brains that he gave us and the resources he gave us to address issues in addition to pressing into Jesus.
Don't get me wrong here, okay? We absolutely need God's salvation in our lives. We absolutely need the Holy Spirit to direct us. We completely need his comfort in our lives. And I don't know about you, but there are so many things in my life I wouldn't have made it through in the way that I did without the strength of God on my side. But when it comes to your mental health, these are the starting points for Christians. This is the default. This is where we should be, to begin with. And so if we're dealing with these things, we should check that all this is in place, but then we can go, “God, will you direct me to the next step?” And we can go to wise people, wise counsellors, and say, "Hey, I'm struggling with this. I'm praying. I'm reading my Bible, I'm worshiping, I'm going to church. I'm serving faithfully, but I'm dealing with these issues."
Let me tell you when I was dealing with stuff, and I phoned up a mentor, you know what they told me? "Stephen, you need to call the doctor. You need to talk to someone. You need to find out if there's a medical issue, and you need to talk to someone; you're burnt out. You need help."
We must understand that mental health problems do not mean we're bad Christians. It doesn't mean that we're failing as followers of Jesus. You are a real person. That's all it means. You are a flesh and blood human being. So, the first myth is that good Christians don't have mental health problems.
Myth 2: God doesn’t care about mental health
The second myth is that God doesn't care about mental health. Some people think that mental health is not in his purview. He wants you to keep on pressing in. He gave you a mission. You need to do it no matter what. Life can be falling apart, but you should keep trucking.
But the truth is, he cares a lot about our mental health. He gave us an entire book of the Bible that shares the ups and downs of human beings, and it includes many, many words of encouragement. My daughter has found that her favourite thing to do when times are tough is read Psalm 23. What a message of comfort. There's a reason why so many of us have posters in our houses or coffee mugs with this passage. But do you know what passage in the Psalms you'll never see on a coffee mug? Psalm 88, never (Unless it's a gig gift, then it's a mean gag gift).
There's a guy in the Bible named Herman. He was a man of wisdom. He was a musician and a songwriter. He was even a good parent. He was a committed servant of King Solomon. Everything seems great so far, but listen to a little bit of the Psalm he wrote: "For my life is full of troubles and death draws near I am as good as death. Like a strong man with no strength left. They have left me among the dead. And I lie like a corpse in the grave. I am forgotten. Cut off from your care. ...Oh Lord, I cry out to you. I will keep on pleading day by day. Oh Lord, why you reject me? Why do you turn your face from me? ...you have taken away my companions and loved ones. Darkness is my closest friend."
God decided this was worth saving to go down in posterity. But you know what's even cooler? Herman loved God, served God, and was a good parent. But was he mentally healthy? No way. He was going through some stuff here! But God cares about all of it. And if you're not mentally healthy, you need to know that God cares. He loves your honesty. I think most of us are afraid of writing stuff like this. We're scared of praying things like this. "God, why did you make me? Life sucks. Everything's terrible. I hate that I was even born." But God loves that we're being honest.
I ended up going in to see a doctor, and I did some counselling with a Christian psychologist. I got some medication that has really helped, and I've cut back my hours because that was too much. And I'm still learning! I'm still learning to trust in God and to listen to my body because I still struggle at times. I still quite often will make it halfway through the day, and then I'll go home, and I'll sleep and then I'll get back up at whatever time I happen to wake up, and then I'll go back to work because I'm tired and I'm not mentally healthy, but I'm giving it to God. And hopefully, that's something that you can do, too. So, I need to share with you today something that I've had to conclude: that seeking help for your mental health isn't weak. It's wise. We like to hide stuff. We want to be strong, but it's not weak to say, "I need help." It's wise.
“Seeking help for your mental health isn’t weak. It’s wise.”
Jesus shared the great commandment, which we find in Matthew 22:37, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind." Not only was he onto something amazing and restating something that the Jewish people already knew about the entirety of their law, but I think he was onto something about how our minds work. Because there are these things that are called neural pathways in our brains. And I don't know if you've noticed, but when you have a habit, it's hard to break it. But when you make a new habit, suddenly it's like your entire body, your whole life goes on autopilot. Your neural pathways are a lot like a path through the forest. The forest has all kinds of little places where you can get through where wildlife has walked and maybe where humans have walked, and eventually, a path is formed.
And most of us, you're going where there's the least resistance possible for where you need to go, and your brain is wired this way. The more you do something, the more set your neural pathways become to do that one thing, the easier it is to do that one thing and the harder it is to not.
But then there's Jesus: "You must love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind." Why? Because we need to train our brains to think about good things.
The Prophet Isaiah said, "You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." If you want lasting peace, you have to change your thoughts. It's not all going to happen at once. It's going to be something over time. But you need to look at your life. You need to look at your social media usage, and maybe you need to stop the scroll. You need to look at what news cycles you are wound up in and what political things you are invested in and torn up about. When you go out for coffee with your friends, do you guys talk about all the good things in your lives? Or do you whine and complain over coffee? These aren't good things. These aren't going to change our outlook or help us find peace.
God is my strength. God is my provider. God is my protector. And no matter what comes, I am never alone. And it cannot thwart God's purpose for me. He is the God of peace.
How can we have this peace in the world? Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you not as the world gives. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." I chose the English Standard Version on this because the translation I usually preach from, the New Living Translation, actually missed something in their translation. They generalize peace. But this isn't a general piece. This is Jesus's peace. Contextually speaking, this is just before a time of great pain, suffering, and hopelessness for his followers. And he says, "But listen, there will be peace." Why? How? Because peace isn't found in the absence of problems. It's found in the presence of Jesus.
“Peace isn’t found in the absence of problems. It’s found in the presence of Jesus.”