Holding on to Intimacy

How to get intimacy back in your relationship

Whether you are married, engaged, dating, or single, it does not change the fact that you have been designed for intimacy. It also does not change the fact that intimacy can be slippery: here one moment and gone the next. Yet, intimacy in our human relationships and in our relationship with God is something that we can fight for and grow.

Intimacy is Fleeting

Song of Solomon 5:2-6 uses poetic language to describe a scene in which a recently married woman has a dream about her husband. But what starts out a desire-filled scene breaks down and suddenly there is emptiness. No matter the relationship--with your spouse or with God--intimacy will wax and wane.

Holding on to intimacy requires self-sacrifice.

in Song of Solomon 5:7, the woman runs out into the streets at night to find her beloved, but the streets are not safe and she is violated by the nigh watchmen for her troubles. Still, she does not give up on finding the intimacy she once had with her husband.

What are you willing to give up to hold on to intimacy? What is crowding out the space you need to dedicate to pursuing your relationship with your spouse and/or with God?

Holding on to intimacy may require outside help--before it is too late.

Song of Solomon 5:8. If you need help, get it NOW. Too many people wait until things are really bad before finding outside help. Too many couples come to their pastor or counsellor for help as a last-ditch effort and usually it will fail. If they would just come earlier, they might actually be able to turn the relationship around.

Intimacy requires seeing the other as a singular individual worthy of your devoted attention.

Song of Solomon 6:2-9. The beloved has access to all kinds of women to fulfill his sexual desires if that is what he had wished; however, he desires this singular woman: his wife. She is worthy of his attention. Likewise, God is worthy of your attention.

Holding on to intimacy requires letting go of something else.

What will you give up to hold on to intimacy in your relationships?

Fight to hold on to intimacy!


Listen to the whole message here:

What would you give up for the ones you love?

What would you give up for the ones you love?

Have you ever given up something important to you to help someone you love? Perhaps you gave your money or your time; perhaps you gave up comfort or a possession you really loved. It is amazing the lengths that we will go to in order to help a loved one. In fact, a few years ago over 70 000 people were surveyed for the book, The Normal Bar. Survey participants were asked, “Have you given up an important part of yourself to keep your relationship together?” Of those married for 21 years or longer, 49% affirmed ...

Fighting Time

Fighting Time

I often find myself fighting against an immovable force. No matter what I do or how I maneuver, there is no way around it or through it. This force feels like my enemy, yet I do not want it to disappear. This force is merciless, plodding onward and dragging me with it. If I could slow it down, move freely within it, or somehow control it then perhaps I could eek out some kind of victory. Yet as much as I fight it, I cannot make time bend to my will.

Jesus' Resurrection is About More Than One Day

Jesus' Resurrection is About More Than One Day

Last weekend was Easter weekend. On Friday, we remembered Jesus' bloody sacrifice on the cross as he paid the price for our rejection of the Creator. On Sunday, we celebrated the fact that he did not stay dead; three days after his death he rose from the grave. These are great things to remember, and these days have great significance--but what does Christ's resurrection mean for people 2,000 years removed from it? And is all we're going to do with it spending one day with brightly coloured, egg-shaped chocolate?